Working for a boss who scrutinizes every detail can feel suffocating, but it doesn’t have to derail your career. Melody Wilding, LMSW, executive coach, human behavior professor, and author of Managing Up: How to Get What You Need from the People in Charge, told CNBC Make It that employees can use simple strategies to work effectively without burning out. She has coached leaders at Google, Amazon, and other Fortune 500 companies.
Send Early, Save Energy
Instead of striving for perfection, present early versions of your work. Wilding suggests saying, “Here’s what I’ve put together so far. It’s a bit rough around the edges, but it captures the core ideas.” This allows your boss to provide input while saving you time and energy.
Let Them Feel in Control
Acknowledging your manager’s authority can make interactions smoother. Phrases like, “I’ll share my thoughts, and you can decide,” or framing suggestions as questions — “What if we tried this?” — give them a sense of control while keeping your ideas in play. According to Wilding, this leverages the question-behavior effect in psychology, easing tensions and improving collaboration.
Transparency Is Your Secret Weapon
Weekly updates or quick check-ins can satisfy a controlling boss’s need for oversight. A simple note such as, “Here’s a snapshot of what I’m working on this week,” ensures transparency and reduces micro-management later.
Turn Criticism into Collaboration
Wilding recommends discussing your plan before starting a task: “I’m planning to approach X this way. Do you have initial thoughts?” Use the “yes, and…” approach from improv to integrate their feedback while asserting your perspective. For example, “Yes, I see the need for brevity, and I think a brief context section will help clarity for others.”
Constructively requesting acknowledgment can boost morale and performance. Wilding advises: “I enjoy hearing how I can improve. It’s also important to know what’s going well so I can do more of that. Can you share what’s working best?”
Protect Your Energy
Entrepreneur Ankur Warikoo adds that navigating difficult people successfully requires emotional distance and smart observation. Avoid overreacting to toxic tendencies, document instructions, and surround yourself with positivity. If the environment threatens growth or mental health, reassessing whether to stay or leave may be necessary.
Wilding and Warikoo both stress that dealing with a controlling boss isn’t about confrontation; it’s about strategy, patience, and maintaining mental energy. By combining transparency, initiative, and subtle influence, employees can protect their peace, maintain productivity, and continue to grow even under demanding leadership.
Send Early, Save Energy
Instead of striving for perfection, present early versions of your work. Wilding suggests saying, “Here’s what I’ve put together so far. It’s a bit rough around the edges, but it captures the core ideas.” This allows your boss to provide input while saving you time and energy.
Let Them Feel in Control
Acknowledging your manager’s authority can make interactions smoother. Phrases like, “I’ll share my thoughts, and you can decide,” or framing suggestions as questions — “What if we tried this?” — give them a sense of control while keeping your ideas in play. According to Wilding, this leverages the question-behavior effect in psychology, easing tensions and improving collaboration.
Transparency Is Your Secret Weapon
Weekly updates or quick check-ins can satisfy a controlling boss’s need for oversight. A simple note such as, “Here’s a snapshot of what I’m working on this week,” ensures transparency and reduces micro-management later.
Turn Criticism into Collaboration
Wilding recommends discussing your plan before starting a task: “I’m planning to approach X this way. Do you have initial thoughts?” Use the “yes, and…” approach from improv to integrate their feedback while asserting your perspective. For example, “Yes, I see the need for brevity, and I think a brief context section will help clarity for others.”
Constructively requesting acknowledgment can boost morale and performance. Wilding advises: “I enjoy hearing how I can improve. It’s also important to know what’s going well so I can do more of that. Can you share what’s working best?”
Protect Your Energy
Entrepreneur Ankur Warikoo adds that navigating difficult people successfully requires emotional distance and smart observation. Avoid overreacting to toxic tendencies, document instructions, and surround yourself with positivity. If the environment threatens growth or mental health, reassessing whether to stay or leave may be necessary.
Wilding and Warikoo both stress that dealing with a controlling boss isn’t about confrontation; it’s about strategy, patience, and maintaining mental energy. By combining transparency, initiative, and subtle influence, employees can protect their peace, maintain productivity, and continue to grow even under demanding leadership.
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